Recovery from love addiction
is the sadness of realizing nobody else can save you from your pain
and the brutal sweetness of knowing you must save yourself
(Fall 2022)
Single, Queer, and Content
“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”-Gloria Steinem
“Your life doesn’t need to have any dicks in it to be rich and fulfilling.”-me
Woulda Shoulda Coulda
If only I’d known
that your sense of intellectual superiority,
your inability to admit when you were wrong,
and your unwillingness to reconsider your opinions
were not signs of strength,
but signs of weakness.
They were what drew me to you
in the beginning,
and what pushed me away
in the end.
Teacher’s Pet
I was thrilled when I aced your tests
until I realized
that the right person
wouldn’t be testing me in the first place
———
Shoutout to Rachel Krantz, whose book Open: an Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy helped me a lot an inspired this poem.
Bargain
If losing you
was the cost of finding myself,
it was a price well worth paying.
Self-Defense
You can only abuse someone for so long
until they get tired of your shit
and stand up to you
This is true
even when that someone
is yourself
My Own Damn Planet
At the end of the day,
I didn’t want to be
one of the many moons
in your orbit.
I wanted to be
my own damn planet.
Erosion
This poem is dedicated to a person who I’ll always love, and who showed me the meaning of unconditional love. (SBH)
Your love is a steady stream of water
carving away at my mountain of insecurities
Your love is a fierce gust of wind
wearing down my fears and past hurts
Your love is erosion
in the most beautiful way
(late 2019 or early 2020)
Risks and Rewards
“I will not date again
until my insides feel right”
is the marching order
that gets me through the day
“But what if my insides
never feel right?”
is the haunting whisper
that keeps me up at night
No Matter the Cost
In order to become the person I want to be,
I must pursue inner peace with the same fervor
that I used to pursue pleasure:
doing whatever it takes to get it,
no matter the cost.
Musings and Music 