Music is my lover
I will spend my whole life trying to understand her
and yet she’ll always remain a mystery to me
She drives me mad
but brings me so much joy
that I don’t mind
Author: musingsandmusic
Introverted Activist
You don’t have to hold a bullhorn
to be a rebel
Recovery Meeting Observations
I find it striking that us addicts
are simultaneously the most fucked-up people
and the wisest
Missing Ingredients
I loved you so much
and it’s such a shame
that love wasn’t enough
to save us
Leonard Cohen
I’ve been getting into Leonard Cohen lately,
and it makes me think of you.
You were the first person to introduce me to him
with You Want It Darker
all those years ago.
This might sound crazy
given the trauma you caused me,
but sometimes I feel like
the greatest tragedy of your transgressions
was losing you as a friend—
a choice I had to make
in order to heal.
It’s the fact that I can’t reach out to you today
and tell you how right you were about Cohen:
”I’m really starting to get it now—
he truly is incredible.”
What I Bring to the Table
If I don’t know what I bring to the table,
I will always show up hungry enough
to settle for crumbs
Day One
My problem is
that I always tried to date the person I want to be
instead of become the person I want to be
Hungry Ghost
I tried to make you all tell me I’m okay
because I couldn’t–COULD NOT–tell myself that I’m okay
little did I know
that approval-seeking is a hungry ghost
it is a black hole
that not even the greatest admiration in the world
can fill
Soul Poison
I am so angry
that I let you inside my body,
inside my heart,
and inside my mind.
I would never eat something
that would poison my body,
so why did I love someone
who poisoned my soul?
Rock Bottom
I think I’ve reached a point
where I will either get better
or I will die.
Two options.
Black and white.
No in-between.
Musings and Music 