“Don’t ask ‘why the addiction?’ Ask ‘why the pain?'”-Dr. Gabor Mate

my addictions
were always lifeboats
the right question was never
“why to I reach for them so desperately and indiscriminately?”

it was
“why am I goddamn drowning all the time?”

Both And

Sometimes, I’m insanely proud of how far I’ve come
until I’m humbled by remembering how far I have yet to go.
Other times, I’m insanely discouraged by how far I have yet to go
until I’m heartened by remembering how far I’ve come.

Fixing the Clock

I think that regaining the ability to trust one’s own intuition is an essential part of healing and wholeness.
They say a broken clock
is right twice a day
and I don’t know if the days are getting faster
or if I’m fixing the clock,
but it feels like I’m right more and more often.

I am learning to trust myself again.


I once read in a book
that we won’t let anyone treat us worse
than we treat ourselves.

That makes me so excited for my next relationship,
because I’m treating myself better and better
every day.

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”–African proverb