When I was a young teenager,
I was suicidal.
Now,
I work on a crisis hotline
helping others who are suicidal.
I wish I could go back in time
and show my younger self
what she would become.
“Look,” I’d say.
“I know how hard it is for you right now.
I know you feel lost, broken, and alone,
and that everything seems hopeless.
But you will make something
of this pain.
It won’t be for nothing.
Look how you’ll spin
the blood
into gold.”
Tag: meaning
Sometimes We Can Find Meaning, Even When We Can’t Find Happiness
“What’s the point of life
if you aren’t going to be happy doing it?”
is a lovely,
and often useful,
sentiment.
But for those of us with depression,
happiness isn’t always within reach.
My depression is so long-lasting
(I fear it may be lifelong),
that it has prompted me to ask myself,
“Is an unhappy life still worth living?”
“Is there a purpose to life beyond happiness?”
This morning,
a more effective question
for pushing myself to live intentionally
popped into my head:
“What’s the point of unhappiness
if you aren’t going to live
while doing it?”
(P.S. For my readers with depression: I know that sometimes, in deep bouts, “living” is completely out of the question. Sometimes, all you can aim for is surviving. That is okay too. <3)
Musings and Music 