If you aren’t the magic carpet
that will fly me up out of my misery,
then I guess I’d better get started
on building some damn stairs
Tag: personal growth
Broccoli Seeds
No longer do I want to choose lovers
based on the fantasy of healing them
or of them healing me
I want someone
with whom I can walk side by side,
providing each other company
while we both heal ourselves
No longer do I want the sugar high
of consuming each other like candy
I want the difficulty and fulfillment
of nourishing each other like broccoli seeds
*I borrowed the broccoli seed metaphor from Gesturing Toward Decolonial Futures’ “Broccoli Seed Agreement.” Please check out their work! They’re amazing!
Day One
My problem is
that I always tried to date the person I want to be
instead of become the person I want to be
Adventures in Meditation II
“Some days you give thanks, some days you give the finger. It’s a complicated creation.”-Cloud Cult
_______________________________________
An unpleasant feeling arises.
I sit with it for a moment.
My very next thought:
“I’m so fucking tired of ‘sItTiNg WiTh’ this shit. When is it going to just go away?”
Small (Big) Triumphs
Today,
I can listen to the same songs
about toxic relationships
that used to trigger
an ache of recognition
and only feel
a remembrance of that ache,
a compassion for my past self.
It is in these small moments
(which really aren’t small at all)
that I see how far
I’ve come.
Part of the Family
I finally see the mean inner voices for what they are:
part of the family.
I’m never going to eradicate them.
Fear,
self-doubt,
self-criticism,
and depression
will always be in the car
in the road trip of my life–
a month from now,
a year from now,
ten years from now.
And that’s okay.
They can be here–
as long as they know their place.
They sit in the back.
They sit shotgun.
They are not the driver.
I repeat:
They are not the driver.
*Credit where credit is due: this poem is a paraphrase of a part of Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert.*
Scathed Well
Don’t aim
to come out of life
unscathed.
Aim
to come out of it
scathed well:
Scathed, but using your scars
for the betterment of others
and yourself
Come Alive Anyway
You may fear
that if you come alive
people won’t like
who you truly are.
I’m going to spoil the ending:
some people WON’T like
who you truly are.
Come alive anyway.
A Massacre I Welcome
To grow,
we must accept
death after death
of the selves
we used to be
to make room
for the births
of the selves
we will become
A massacre
I welcome
(written summer 2019)
Musings and Music 