Don’t aim
to come out of life
unscathed.
Aim
to come out of it
scathed well
Scathed with a twist
Scathed, but using your scars
for the betterment of others
and yourself
Tag: Poems
Forgiveness VIII
I put so much work
into forgiving you
now I need to put
that much
and more
into forgiving
myself
Bat-Shit Crazy
Looking back on our relationship,
sometimes I wonder
if you really hurt me
or if I was just bat-shit crazy.
My conclusion?
I was bat-shit crazy.
But that doesn’t mean
you didn’t hurt me.
__________________________________________________________
Note from the author: Just wanted to remind anyone who needs to hear it that there is no “perfect victim” of trauma. Even in light of your imperfections, your pain is valid. ❤
The Darkness
I think you view me
As the stars that light up a clear, summer night
But you’ve got it all wrong, babe
I am the darkness
(written summer 2018)
Indelible
There was a me
before I knew you
There will be a me
after you’re gone
Truer
When I prayed,
“Dear God,
help me see myself
as I truly am,”
I hoped to get a clearer picture
of things I often deny:
my mistakes,
my failures,
my cowardice,
my evils.
Instead,
I felt
a deep love.
I wonder
if this was God’s way
of telling me
that while my flaws
are true,
Love
is even
truer.
Fires
I vow
to spend my life
walking through fires
instead of
cowering from them.
I vow
to spread light
even when it means
I must
endure heat.
(written 2017 or 2018)
*Inspired by the Viktor Frankl quote, “what is to give light must endure burning.”
Powerful Silence
Sometimes,
I don’t want to write about my darkness–
as if acknowledging it
gives it power.
But this is a lie.
Throughout my life,
I have learned and re-learned
that nothing emboldens darkness
more than
silence.
What’s in a Name?
Every time I hear your name
I feel hurt
I feel used
I feel powerless
I feel tyrannized
I feel terrified
all over
again.
(written early 2019)
The Life of a Socially Anxious Writer
- Write something.
- Put it out into the world.
- Die of embarrassment.
- Slowly realize that, in spite of intense feelings of shame (what Brené Brown aptly calls a “vulnerability hangover”), you’re not, like, *actually* dead. At least not in the technical, literal sense. And what a shocking revelation!!!!! You really thought you were!!!! In fact, you were quite convinced!!!!! Start getting the itch to write and share your writing again (where did THAT come from???). Forget how painful and awful it was the last time. Start believing and hoping that MAYBE, despite the disagreement of ALLLLLLLLLL your inner demons, you just might have something important to say. Bravely or stupidly (<— you’re never sure which) decide to soldier on.
5. Write something again.
