There was a me
before I knew you
There will be a me
after you’re gone
Tag: Poems
Truer
When I prayed,
“Dear God,
help me see myself
as I truly am,”
I hoped to get a clearer picture
of things I often deny:
my mistakes,
my failures,
my cowardice,
my evils.
Instead,
I felt
a deep love.
I wonder
if this was God’s way
of telling me
that while my flaws
are true,
Love
is even
truer.
Fires
I vow
to spend my life
walking through fires
instead of
cowering from them.
I vow
to spread light
even when it means
I must
endure heat.
(written 2017 or 2018)
*Inspired by the Viktor Frankl quote, “what is to give light must endure burning.”
Powerful Silence
Sometimes,
I don’t want to write about my darkness–
as if acknowledging it
gives it power.
But this is a lie.
Throughout my life,
I have learned and re-learned
that nothing emboldens darkness
more than
silence.
What’s in a Name?
Every time I hear your name
I feel hurt
I feel used
I feel powerless
I feel tyrannized
I feel terrified
all over
again.
(written early 2019)
The Life of a Socially Anxious Writer
- Write something.
- Put it out into the world.
- Die of embarrassment.
- Slowly realize that, in spite of intense feelings of shame (what Brené Brown aptly calls a “vulnerability hangover”), you’re not, like, *actually* dead. At least not in the technical, literal sense. And what a shocking revelation!!!!! You really thought you were!!!! In fact, you were quite convinced!!!!! Start getting the itch to write and share your writing again (where did THAT come from???). Forget how painful and awful it was the last time. Start believing and hoping that MAYBE, despite the disagreement of ALLLLLLLLLL your inner demons, you just might have something important to say. Bravely or stupidly (<— you’re never sure which) decide to soldier on.
5. Write something again.
No Excuses
A key component
to maturing spiritually
is realizing there are no excuses
for my bad behavior.
There are explanations.
There is empathy.
There is (I hope) redemption.
But there are NO excuses.
To A Female Ex-Coworker
You said I’d be sexy
if I wore my hair down
if I plucked my eyebrows
if I unbuttoned the top few buttons of my shirt.
I laugh at how much you’re missing,
at how completely you misunderstand me.
It is my mind, my heart,
my soul, my very essence that makes me sexy–
not any of those things.
(written spring 2019)
Mimosa Lane
Today, I drove down Mimosa Lane
just because I loved its name.
We must remember
to pursue these moments:
the joy
of celebrating our joy
Never Lose
It’s okay to lose your naivety–
never lose your ideals.
It’s okay to lose your innocence–
never lose hope.
It’s okay to lose your fantasies–
never lose your dreams.
Musings and Music 