Trying

I’m not perfect,
but I am trying.

Trying isn’t everything.
It doesn’t undo the mistakes I’ve made,
heal the people I’ve hurt,
or bring back the time I’ve wasted.

But it IS something.
It is not nothing.

Blood Into Gold

When I was a young teenager,
I was suicidal.
Now,
I work on a crisis hotline
helping others who are suicidal.
I wish I could go back in time
and show my younger self
what she would become.
“Look,” I’d say.
“I know how hard it is for you right now.
I know you feel lost, broken, and alone,
and that everything seems hopeless.
But you will make something
of this pain.
It won’t be for nothing.
Look how you’ll spin
the blood
into gold.”

Minefield

Having social anxiety
is like being in a minefield.

You fear that one misstep
(i.e. one awkward moment,
one poorly constructed sentence,
one accidental overshare,
one missed cultural reference,
etc. etc. etc….)
would mean complete
social and emotional
annihilation.

So, naturally, you don’t move.
You just stand there,
paralyzed.