Suicidal depression is a strange thing.

You go about your day,
make small talk with the barista at the coffee shop
and look normal, perhaps

and no one knows how intimately you know Death
how you commune with Her on a weekly basis
how frequently you must negotiate with Her,
trying to convince Her to give you more time

So strange how I can somehow blend into casual spaces
while fighting a vicious battle for my life.

*If you are in the US, feel this way, and need someone to talk to, call 988 for the national suicide hotline. You are not alone.