“Even the longest, most detailed, and most expressive obituaries always omit the essence of a life: the history of a person’s heart. How many of us wish we had asked more questions of someone we loved, not about what happened and when but about the inner experience of being that person? About hopes and fulfillments, failures and regrets? About moments of despair and moments of meaning?” -Parker Palmer, Healing the Heart of Democracy (Taken from the blog Living With Open Hands- https://ronirvine.wordpress.com/)
I’ve been a writer for years and have rarely shared my writing. I can’t imagine something much scarier than putting your soul out in the open, into the hands of people that might completely misinterpret or reject it. And yet, there’s always been a part of me that wanted my works to make it into public eye. A part that valued my creativity, that wanted to be seen for who I truly am, that thought I had something worth sharing with the world.
In the past few months, I’ve been starting to feel this increasing, overwhelming sense of dread that I’m not using my life in the way I was meant to. If I was to die now, my number one regret would be not having shared my writing. Perhaps one of the reasons I started this blog was for assurance that when I die, some small piece of my internal life will remain tangible. This internal life is what I want to be remembered for, not who I am on the outside.
When I was in high school, I was deeply impacted by Kinetic Affect, a local slam poetry team known for their vulnerable content and emotionally charged deliveries (Check them out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLoQJmJvXOc). One day, they visited my friend’s advanced English class and said to the students, “If we make one person feel like they’re not alone, it’s all worth it- it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.” If, through authenticity and courage, I have the potential to influence others, what is the purpose of hiding myself away simply to avoid a few pieces of criticism?
I’ve named this post “Authentically Yours” because if I’m going to start sharing pieces of myself now, I want them to be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Authenticity is one of my biggest values. It’s something I strive for. My greatest idols in life have been people who are genuinely themselves– who aren’t afraid to be weird, quirky, off the beaten path– who are comfortable with themselves. My goal in life is to progressively develop the ability to honor my own inner truth.
My intentions for this blog are to share my Musings (my thoughts, ponderings, values, philosophies, attempts to understand life) and my Music (Music is my biggest passion and, for me, the most personal form of writing). These are two of my most cherished aspects of who I am. It is my hopes that someday they will do as much for other people as they do for me.
2 thoughts on “Authentically Yours, the Author”
Thank you for having the courage to put this out there. It is beautifully written and resonates deeply. When I started blogging, I had no intention of anyone reading it. 9 years later I’ve had over 45,000 hits on my WordPress blog from people from 140 countries. For some reason, I’ve been unable to write for an year. Maybe your writing will be the spark I need to find my voice again.
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What kind words, Ron. Thank you.