Depression April 14, 2022April 14, 2022 ~ musingsandmusic Whydoes ordinary, everyday lifefeel so devastating? (Apr. 2022) Share this:TweetPrintEmailLike this:Like Loading... Published by musingsandmusic View all posts by musingsandmusic
3 thoughts on “Depression”
I understand this, and I find it’s because I’m looking too much at what is around me, not enough what is within me. When I think on this during the moments I am not in the dark, I can see the darkness in me, very clearly. Those are moments I am not enraged or bitter. I can think with compassion and logic.
Often, depressed sorts, like perhaps you, and also me, are too afraid to see themselves.
I see happiness, and I see smiles. I feel jealous. But it’s nothing when I cannot be happy for them, only feeling the darkness in me instead of looking at it directly and stating the words, “There should be happiness, somewhere, in this world for me.”
Thank you for your comment! Can you speak more on that? What do you feel that we depressive sorts (you correctly ascertained that I, too, am one) are afraid of seeing in ourselves?
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Well, I’ve often contrasted anxiety from depression in that the former represents the future, while the latter represents the past. A depressed person, when I begin to dwell on these thoughts, is afraid of seeing what the past looks like in themselves for fear it might repeat in the future. So, I think on alcoholics, and I say to myself, “Some of them can’t be drinking to drown the past. I believe it is they want to drown the future.” If to be a tad more technical about it, alcohol is a depressant. It would “drown” anxiety, not depression, thereby keeping a depressed person in the past. Anti-anxiety medications operate in the same manner. They affect the same areas of the brain as alcohol.
A major point of life, I think, is to continue our movement, the signs of motion that state the words, “I am strong, and I am alive.” If we dwell in the past for the sole purpose of not wanting to face the future, then we are no better than the dead or the past, itself.
I simply think that whatever event might have caused a person’s depression, that understanding of the “what” is the first step to clarity. When the question of “what” is accomplished, it’s usually the next step of “how” that should be followed. When both are accomplished, a depressed person understands what causes their depression, and then are able to “how” being the numbered steps ahead (into the future) to find somewhere else to be (instead of the past).
Depression is a weight. It’s a heavy feeling. It’s because of that, that I think it’s the mind’s way to alerting us to see the future. It’s that we, as humans, were not made to be dead, in our depression, instead of living life in motion.
So, what depressed sorts are afraid to see is not the past. No, it’s all they see. The past, for what no longer exists among it, is dead. It’s perhaps why the extremely depressed take to suicide to be among the dead, in the truest fashion. Instead, the depressed sorts are afraid to see the future that pertains so much to their own personal enjoyments of life I believe they are ignoring.