Part of learning
to forgive him
was learning to see
his complexity:
the good in him
along with
the bad.
Perhaps
part of learning
to forgive myself
is learning to see
MY complexity:
the good in me
along with
the bad.
Category: Poems
Fear in a Ballgown
Sometimes I wonder
if what I call “independence”
is really just fear:
fear
of getting too close
and losing myself
Writing Sad Things
“Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”-Cesar Cruz
Sometimes,
I need to stop sitting alone
and writing sad things
to go out into the world
and have fun.
Sometimes,
I need to stop going out into the world
and having fun
to sit alone
and write sad things.
Flirting With Fire
I’m so sick
of inching closer to the flames
just to see
how hot I can become
without burning.
I’m so sick
of walking right up to the line
and taking pride
in the fact that I didn’t
cross it.
Dissolve
Don’t be afraid
to dissolve
old layers
of yourself.
Caterpillars
completely break down
inside their coccoons
before they become
butterflies.
Sex Dreams IV
In case you’re confused about the Roman numeral in the title, this poem is an excerpt from a series of poems entitled “Sex Dreams” — the others (Sex Dreams I, Sex Dreams II, etc.) are not on the blog. 🙂 The titles are a play on words, as the poems are really about dreams of preventing and healing trauma and creating a better culture around sexuality.
—————-
My deepest sex dream
is that one day
we will create a world
in which it is safe for
women and girls
to discover and explore
their sexuality
without fear
of physical
or reputational
danger.
Arbiter of Truth
When you find yourself
relentlessly trying
to explain yourself to someone,
stop for a moment
and ask yourself
why you’re doing that.
Are you trying to make them
understand your choices
or agree with your opinions
because,
deep down,
you don’t trust your own
opinions and choices?
Do you need the green light from them
before you can give yourself the green light?
If so,
stop letting them be
the arbiter of your truth.
Tirelessly trying
to make someone understand you
is abdicating your responsibility
to define the credibility of your own
decisions, life experiences, and/or beliefs.
And no one
is more qualified than you
to make those calls.
Let Yourself Be Forgotten
Sometimes, it is best
to let yourself be forgotten.
Particularly,
when you feel you must change yourself
or betray yourself
to be remembered.
Second Thoughts
What we had was gold
and sometimes I wonder
if I left it
just to chase glitter
Adventures in Meditation III
“An inner voice always used to be an outer voice.” –The School of Life
___________________________________________________________
One day,
I summon the courage
to ask my inner critic
a question:
“why are you so mean to me all the time?”
I ask it with curiosity,
acceptance,
and non-defensiveness.
My inner critic
breaks down crying.
“Because everyone else was so mean to me,”
it replies.
Suddenly, I realize
that the perpetrator in me
and the victim in me
are just the hard and soft manifestations
of the same person,
the same pain.
_______________________
Other poems in this series:
Adventures in Meditation 1: https://wordpress.com/post/musings-and-music.com/1529
Adventures in Meditation 2: https://wordpress.com/post/musings-and-music.com/1722
Musings and Music 