I will not accept
half of your heart
in a shady alleyway.
To be my lover,
you must give me your whole heart
on a sunlit street.
The more I learn to love myself,
the more dangerous I feel.
But dangerous in a good way.
Dangerous to systems of oppression,
dangerous to bullshit.
A wrecking ball that’s coming for the things
that need to be destroyed
“I believe that the more we love ourselves, the more potent we are”-India Arie
Sometimes, you have to fall to the ground
to realize you’re not breakable glass
but a bouncy ball
*Inspired by Parker Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak*
Music is my lover
I will spend my whole life trying to understand her
and yet she’ll always remain a mystery to me
She drives me mad
but brings me so much joy
that I don’t mind
You don’t have to hold a bullhorn
to be a rebel
I find it striking that us addicts
are simultaneously the most fucked-up people
and the wisest
I loved you so much
and it’s such a shame
that love wasn’t enough
to save us
I’ve been getting into Leonard Cohen lately,
and it makes me think of you.
You were the first person to introduce me to him
with You Want It Darker
all those years ago.
This might sound crazy
given the trauma you caused me,
but sometimes I feel like
the greatest tragedy of your transgressions
was losing you as a friend—
a choice I had to make
in order to heal.
It’s the fact that I can’t reach out to you today
and tell you how right you were about Cohen:
”I’m really starting to get it now—
he truly is incredible.”
If I don’t know what I bring to the table,
I will always show up hungry enough
to settle for crumbs
My problem is
that I always tried to date the person I want to be
instead of become the person I want to be