Both And

Sometimes, I’m insanely proud of how far I’ve come
until I’m humbled by remembering how far I have yet to go.
Other times, I’m insanely discouraged by how far I have yet to go
until I’m heartened by remembering how far I’ve come.

Fixing the Clock

I think that regaining the ability to trust one’s own intuition is an essential part of healing and wholeness.
They say a broken clock
is right twice a day
and I don’t know if the days are getting faster
or if I’m fixing the clock,
but it feels like I’m right more and more often.

I am learning to trust myself again.


Growing up, I never learned how to dance with another person.
I learned how to orbit them,
for they were the center of gravity;
how to flatten myself against walls,
for they always filled the room.

So I’m working on learning those things now:
how to be equal,
how to take up space,
how to give and take,
how to dance.


This poem is dedicated to a person who I’ll always love, and who showed me the meaning of unconditional love. (SBH)

Your love is a steady stream of water
carving away at my mountain of insecurities
Your love is a fierce gust of wind
wearing down my fears and past hurts
Your love is erosion
in the most beautiful way

(late 2019 or early 2020)


When I called you to apologize,
you gave me more grace than I thought you would.
You said you thought I was a good person, deep down.
Your words were like antiseptic on a wound—
they healed, but also burned.

Because I don’t want people to need a magnanimous shovel
to be able to uncover and see my goodness.
I don’t want to be a “good person, deep down”—
I want to be a good person.