I am so angry
that I let you inside my body,
inside my heart,
and inside my mind.
I would never eat something
that would poison my body,
so why did I love someone
who poisoned my soul?
Tag: healing
When I Go Deep
When I go deep into my guilt, I find innocence.
When I go deep into my sorrow, I find joy.
When I go deep into my anger, I find forgiveness.
When I go deep into my self-hatred, I find self-love.
When I go deep into my grief, I find rebirth.
When I go deep into my hurt, I find healing.
When I go deep into my loneliness, I find connection.
When I go deep into my weakness, I find strength.
When I go deep into my fear, I find courage.
When I go deep into my bewilderment, I find clarity.
When I say deep, I mean DEEP.
The path to heaven often takes a person straight through hell,
offering no shortcuts.
But every suffering is the raw material for its opposite.
Don’t be afraid of your darkness.
Sit with it quietly.
Listen to it intently.
Someday,
it will lead you to your light.
Sex Dreams IV
This poem is an excerpt from a series of poems about dreams of preventing and healing trauma and creating a better culture around sexuality.
—————-
My deepest sex dream
is that one day
we will create a world
in which it is safe for
women and girls
to discover and explore
their sexuality
without fear
of physical
or reputational
danger.
Small (Big) Triumphs
Today,
I can listen to the same songs
about toxic relationships
that used to trigger
an ache of recognition
and only feel
a remembrance of that ache,
a compassion for my past self.
It is in these small moments
(which really aren’t small at all)
that I see how far
I’ve come.
I-N-G
I don’t know if I will ever be healed,
but I know that I keep healing.
I don’t know if there is a final E-D,
but I know there is a continuous I-N-G
and
somehow,
that’s just as hopeful.
Forgiveness VI
I used to think
my forgiveness
was in vain
because it didn’t
change you.
Now I know
it wasn’t
because it changed
me.
Forgiveness II
Forgiveness
Isn’t what I thought it would be
It wasn’t a magical, one-time event
It is a process I must continue every day
that’s never truly finished
It isn’t a steady, uphill climb toward healing
It is feeling I’ve completely forgiven you one day
and hating your guts the next
It isn’t neat and tidy
It is as messy as the pain it is trying to resolve
but still,
I am choosing it.
(written fall 2018)
Musings and Music 