I once read in a book
that we won’t let anyone treat us worse
than we treat ourselves.

That makes me so excited for my next relationship,
because I’m treating myself better and better
every day.

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”–African proverb


Growing up, I never learned how to dance with another person.
I learned how to orbit them,
for they were the center of gravity;
how to flatten myself against walls,
for they always filled the room.

So I’m working on learning those things now:
how to be equal,
how to take up space,
how to give and take,
how to dance.

To a Former Love Interest

I wish I’d learned earlier in life than I did that the nuts and bolts of a relationship are far more important than the cinematic, romantic parts.


You told me you don’t believe that connections like ours happen by accident,
implying that divine hands had pushed us together.
I agree, but I also don’t think connections like ours
happen for free.
Your fairy tale proclamations meant nothing
when you weren’t willing to make the sacrifices needed to choose me,
and no God who has my best interests at heart
would push me toward a cheap, distorted version of partnership
when I deserve the real thing.