sometimes, I feel at peace looking back
like our relationship served its purpose
and sometimes, I feel utterly disquieted
like that purpose was to haunt me
Tag: relationships
Tough Love
Sometimes,
when I lament to God, “why I can’t have him?”
she explains that it’s because
I must learn to embrace having myself
Not Your Secret
I will not accept
half of your heart
in a shady alleyway.
To be my lover,
you must give me your whole heart
on a sunlit street.
(2021)
Missing Ingredients
I loved you so much
and it’s such a shame
that love wasn’t enough
to save us
What I Bring to the Table
If I don’t know what I bring to the table,
I will always show up hungry enough
to settle for crumbs
Soul Poison
I am so angry
that I let you inside my body,
inside my heart,
and inside my mind.
I would never eat something
that would poison my body,
so why did I love someone
who poisoned my soul?
Sinking Ship
Sometimes I feel
like our love is a sinking ship
and I’m trying to patch the holes
but too much water
has already crept inside
Trauma Bonding
Touch me
like you can cure my depression with your hands.
And I’ll touch you
like I can cure yours.
It won’t work, of course.
But it’s sexy to pretend.
Cracks
I was a beautiful piece of glass
that you never held up to the light.
Do you still adore me
now that you can see my cracks?
(3/31/22)
Fear in a Ballgown
Sometimes I wonder
if what I call “independence”
is really just fear:
fear
of getting too close
and losing myself
Musings and Music 